Home › Forums › Bull Pit for Members Only › Bull Pit for Members Only › Jokes
This topic contains 487 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by Adrian Snowden 9 years ago.
-
AuthorPosts
-
August 10, 2008 at 9:33 am #94986
Whats a forum without a joke thread i’ll start
A bra ,a set of jumper leads and a car battery go into a bar and sit at a table,the bra goes to the bar to get drinks,i’ll have 3 beers thanks say’s the bra no way say’s the barman why not say’s the bra,well your off your tits and your two mates look like they are going to start something
August 10, 2008 at 9:36 am #106377Thats so funny, Karma coming your way
August 11, 2008 at 9:41 am #106378Come on shorly you know some jokes to post here’s another one
Three blokes in a bar a Pom a Yank and a Aussie ,the Pom says after i have sex with my wife i whisper sweet nothings in her ear and she rises two feet off the bed,thats nothing says the Yank after i have sex with my wife i kiss and cuddle her and she rises four feet off the bed, well says the Aussie after i root my missus i get up wipe my dick on the curtains and she hits the roof
August 11, 2008 at 9:51 am #106903What the *&^% !
August 11, 2008 at 9:55 am #106379Not another one who doesn’t get my jokes:silly:
August 11, 2008 at 10:04 am #106908No no I get it badfun, but I just thought well I didnt maybe
August 11, 2008 at 12:35 pm #106911Keep em comin’ badfun..
Should we have an official jokes forum!!! I think a HOTD is in order to.. (hottie of the day)..
Chris.
August 13, 2008 at 9:32 am #106380A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’
‘It was Bob the next door neighbour,’ she replies.
‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’
August 13, 2008 at 9:41 am #106997good karma badfun, them some funny jokes!
August 14, 2008 at 6:36 am #106381
AnonymousMahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd
diet, he suffered from bad breath.This made him… a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
August 14, 2008 at 10:06 am #106382About time someone posted a joke ….good one WR
Baby seal walks into a bar
Barman say’s what’ll you have
Baby seal say’s anything but a canadian club
August 16, 2008 at 12:17 pm #106383The Man Rules:
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guy’s side of the story.(I must admit, its pretty good.)
We always hear ‘the rules’From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. These are all numbered ‘1’
ON PURPOSE!
1.Men are not mind readers.1. Learn to work the toilet seat
You’re a big girl. If its up put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.1.Sunday sports
It’s like the full moon, Or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.1.Crying is blackmail.
1.Ask for what you want.Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!1.Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers. To almost every question.
1.Come to us with a problem if only you want to help solving it.
That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.1.Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments Become Null and Void after 7 Days.1.If you think you’re fat,you probably are. Don’t ask us.
1.If something we said can be interpreted two ways
And one of the ways Makes you sad or angry,We meant the other one.1.You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.Not both.
If you already know best how to do it. Just do it your self.1.Whenever possible, please say what you have to say during the commercials.
1.Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1.All men only see 16 colours ,like windows default settings, peach, for example, is a fruit, not A colour, pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1.If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1.If we ask a question, you don’t want to answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.1.When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything to you wear Is fine… Really.
1.Don’t ask us what where thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as riding and riding.
1.You have enough clothes, You have to many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1.Thank you for reading this, yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight,
But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.August 16, 2008 at 1:25 pm #107070Nice Tiny, karma for that !
August 16, 2008 at 10:42 pm #106384A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, “I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin.”
The husband replies, “That’s no big thing in this day and age.”
The wife continues, “Yeah, I’ve been with one guy.”
“Oh yeah? Who was the guy?”
“Tiger Woods.”
“Tiger Woods, the golfer?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, he’s rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him.”
The husband and wife then make passionate love.
When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
“What are you doing?” asks the wife.
The husband says, “I’m hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat.”
“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”
“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”
“He’d come back to bed and do it a second time.”
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. “Now what are you doing?” she asks.
The husband says, “I’m still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat.”
“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”
“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”
“He’d come back to bed and do it again.”
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.
When they finish he’s tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, “Are you calling room service?”
“No! I’m calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole.”
August 16, 2008 at 10:56 pm #107085Getting better only just but getting better lol
-
AuthorPosts
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.