bumped my toxic!!!

gooday fello roost loving folk,

this is my story of the weekend, last gone.

i went away for the weekend (twas a long weekend in mexico) down to our caravan. just the wife, the dog and i.
i had promised my little sammy that i’d go for a ride with her whilst we were away and to do some measuring up of the van for our new patio…..no dramas…..

that was on friday night….. while i was mangled on various beverages. we were at a birthday party at a theatre resturant called “draculas”. it was a wicked night and i was rather sloshed by the time i got to bed…..snoring loudly im told!

saturday morning wasnt too kind to old denno…
after loading bikes etc. with a throbbing headache, and swallowing the little bits of sick everytime i had to bend over, we finally headed off.

an hour down the road, a friendly Mr Plod decided he would like to get to know me better and turned on his pretty little blue lights for me. “fucking fantastic – display” i thought.
he straight away pulled out the breast tester, luckily i only scored a .03 for my performance:P
then the prick pinned me for an obscured number plate on my trailer…..$135 and 3 demerit points.:angry:
$135 i can tolerate but 3 fuckin points, come off it.
the dirty rotten fuckin fucker fuck fuckin fuck stick/wit/head!!!
i said thank you very much sir c*#tstable sir…….

straight to the next bottleshop i went, he made me thirsty.
the hair of the dog calmed me down…

finally we arrived and i promptly filled the couch with my sick, hungover and pissed off body……zzzzzzzz…zzzzzzz..
woken suddenly by the sound and smell of sammys DT, backed up to the door revving with the choke on….:angry: god luv her:P i wished id put some R30 in it and not stinky superTT.
apparentely, i hadnt read the small print the night before??

i preceeded to be a naughty boy and shut the door on her, so to resume my quality time with the couch….zzzz…zzzz…

i was rewarded for my efforts with a simple “snag and bread” dinner. grouse…. just what i needed, not a vege in sight:woohoo:

sunday morning i was a new man, right as rain, good as gold and strong like ox. it was 9am and i was trying to organise a couple of ol’ mates for a tank or two of dirt love!
after fucking around with their bikes, an ’89 YZ250 with an oily plug problem…cleaning the air filter after 12 months of shit, getting him to run 40:1 instead of “BP zoom mix” and a fresh plug does wonders..”whoa, the power is back and its so easy to start up”..
and a Berg 501 with a dodgy starter motor, that my mates little legs couldnt get turning by kicking it. it decided to start working half way through the ride, so was ok.

….we finally left a 1.30pm.

it was a wicked ride. the kato performed many a trick for me.
it was very rocky but ok, with heaps of massive hills all covered in shale. i/we were all in the zone. it was heavenly….till about 10 minutes from the end….:angry:

i was touring along, jumping the erosion mounds like id never before, on the insuperior bikes ive owned before, having a ball.
i was doing everything right for once, standing up before the jump, gassin it at the top, sailing thru the air, seeing a 2 inch thick branch, whilst in mid air, at eye level…………that doesnt look right….hmmmm,
how do i duck in mid air?? head DOWN, BANG…. so thats what peaks are for on helmets!!
i managed to stay on and pull off the landing:woohoo: , but in all the “fuck..fuck..FUCK” frenzy, i ducked too much and the Kato seat bit me on the arse, well, more like it kicked my arse into next month.

oh, thats what my coccyx bone does for a livin…..

(and before i go any further, i dont wanna hear anything bad about PDS. it was purely and simply a pilot error. a BIG pilot error!! )

finally i motored home with shaking legs cause i couldnt sit down…..and guess what??

there was no lovin there!!! geez

sammy asked my mate (whos a bit slow) what happened, he replied “he’s bumped his toxic bone”..many laughs at my expense ensued”….pricks:(

i whispered,”no more riding for the menace…” and “ummm, can you measure everything up please hunny bunny sweety pie??, ive gotta take some pain killers and start drinking to enhance their effect!:silly: “

sammy was not amused…no sense of humour that girl!:dry:

shes ok now, she got to go for a ride with my mates missus on monday, but im still “:evil:the unforgiven”:evil:…:S

so i had to drive 2 hours home, listening to HER music, sitting on a well placed pillow. whincing at every bump:(

and guess what, a black cat crossed our path. bit bloody late i thought. sam just looked at me and smirked, the cheeky bitch:P

now im kneeling here, typing away….like a gimp!:lol:

…..like a gimp with a busted arse….

…..or a bruised toxic boner….

sorry, theres no pics, of me crying:P

menace