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20 things I learnt the hard way as a kid

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  • February 25, 2010 at 9:01 am #171899

    Liam
    Member

    Paper wasps also like mango trees.

    February 25, 2010 at 9:29 am #171932

    glenn
    Member

    1. Do not shoot your brothers yellow and black dart board in the bulls eye with a BB gun, Darn that cardboard is long
    2. Dont check if the Christmas lights are working using your finger in a socket.
    3. Allways tighten the nuts on ya BMXers front wheel prior to pulling a wheelie
    4. Dont shoot birds off antennas over the neighbors’ having a BBQ.
    5. Don’t encourage ya mate to jack up the rear wheels of his dads mini to see how fast they spin.
    6. Always check the bloke your towing on a pushy is actually still on the bike.
    7. Women can be very dangerous
    8. Don’t borrow dads car when your 14,,(bloody dobbing neighbor).
    9. Put you brother’s motor bike back exactly where you pinched it from.
    10. Always make sure your up to speed on your sisters new boyfriends name.
    11. Don’t call your sister’s boyfriend by the name of her last week’s boyfriend.
    12. Always check that the skier is still following the boat.
    13 Don’t get into an in-depth conversation with the observer in your ski boat that could last for about 3 ks.
    14. Always put the bungs in your boat before you launch that sucker.
    15. When baiting a hook put the hook through the bait not your finger.
    16. When giving cheek to the big dude in front of you make sure he can’t hear you (that really hurts).
    17. Don’t put a roman candle in the round hole in the vent bricks in a school block, they shoot straight under the building,,mmmmm.
    18. Take the handbrake off in your truck before you drive into town.
    19. Don’t tell everyone the entire 20 lessons you learnt the hard way since being a kid

    February 25, 2010 at 9:37 am #171933

    Bruce Curtis
    Member

    One my old man taught us

    16 sticks of gelli, placed 5 ‘ in the ground and simultaneously ignited will leave a REALLYREALLY BIG hole in the ground which fills up with water and is cool for ducks, oh and it throws eels around the paddocks for miles.

    And having your uncles pick you up at school on a Z1R makes turns you from a dirtbike outcast into the coolest yr 7 boy

    February 25, 2010 at 9:56 am #171938

    Fez
    Member

    A fart is but a little thing that sends a message to the brain to tell the little man up there that SHIT is on the next train :ohmy: . You goto dred the follow thru. :P

    February 25, 2010 at 10:00 am #171940

    Greg
    Member

    Uncle Fester wrote:

    Quote:
    A fart is but a little thing that sends a message to the brain to tell the little man up there that SHIT is on the next train :ohmy: . You goto dred the follow thru. :P

    What the FUCK :ohmy: , are telling us or yourself Fes

    TB

    February 25, 2010 at 10:06 am #171939

    Mick D
    Member

    Mr Blue wrote:

    Quote:
    One my old man taught us

    16 sticks of gelli, placed 5 ‘ in the ground and simultaneously ignited will leave a REALLYREALLY BIG hole in the ground which fills up with water and is cool for ducks, oh and it throws eels around the paddocks for miles.

    And having your uncles pick you up at school on a Z1R makes turns you from a dirtbike outcast into the coolest yr 7 boy

    Yeah my old man dropped me off at school in a brand new blinged up Ford Loueville with a sleeper cab when Smokey and the Bandit was all the rage.That made me cool for a while.

    My mother was a Whynns salesperson and out of shear luck, we ended up with the Whynns Spirit of Australia Jet powered world speed contender sitting in our front yard for a few days and there was a detour that sent everyone including the school buses past our house at the time. Wasn’t I popular for a day or two!!!

    February 25, 2010 at 11:06 am #171942

    scott bocking
    Member

    1. The pain of broken bones is offset by the glory of plaster casts
    2. Sisters do tell each other what you did with them
    3. So do cousins!
    4. Don’t use all the dirt and all your time building the take off. The landing needs work too
    5. You can jump from higher into water than sand
    6. Even 50cc exhausts get hot afetr two hours riding in the middle of summer.
    7. After spending 30 mins trying to melt a steel bar in a fire remember which end to grab when you come back to try again
    8. If you stab a tree with a pocket knife make sure it is the type with a locking blade
    9. It is much easier to seek forgiveness that it is to get permission.
    10. When Dad says “definately not” he means it
    11. When he says “that will hurt” he is right everytime.
    12. Make sure your parents are in different rooms when you tell one that the other said it was OK
    13. Angry dogs can outrun BMX bikes uphill
    14. Abseiling on a thin rope works to a point. Shame that point is the overhang!
    15. If you are going to accidently hit a dog on your unregistered 80cc unmuffled bike try not to make it the local council members dog
    16. Crashing your parents car while they are overseas does not make it any better.
    17. Mum will work out why your eyes are soooo red.
    18. Ciggies remain on your breath after a packet of salt and vinegar chips
    19. Saying “F You” to your pissed uncle has the same result as saying “Fuck you”
    20. Dog food does taste shit

    STM

    February 25, 2010 at 11:09 am #171943

    Mal
    Member

    What a cracker of a thread Mick. I spent the last 20min pissing myself laughing. :laugh:

    February 25, 2010 at 11:54 am #171955

    Michael Gammone
    Member

    Lessons learnt

    1. Dont wag school then light a bush fire

    2. Toe nails come of when draged on the road when riding your pushie

    3. If a brown snake comes towards u dont grab it

    4. Dont punch your brother in front of your dad dad hits harder

    5. Plastic skate boards only jump 5 steps any more and it hurts

    6. Cars do roll even in a wet paddock

    7. Billy carts and sliding on your arse cheeks at 40k hurts

    8. Bricks hurt when you catch them with your head

    9. Dont play with matches in your mums car while in the garage

    10. When you work on your BMX dont forget to do the front wheel nuts up

    MG

    February 25, 2010 at 12:28 pm #171965

    Chris
    Member

    Don’t let the neighbours little shit kids find your plantation and call the cops.. Nough said!

    Oh and yes Petrol burns just as good as Kero when added to half a bag of lucerne Hay

    Don’t throw more petrol on a petrol fire when trying to put it out.

    Run bloody fast when letting off bolt bombs.

    Don’t hit the bottom end of a bullet whilst trying to get the gunpowder out.

    Fuses are never long enough especially when stuck in shotgun shells

    Ball bearings in copper bombs sounds fun but shit they hurt.

    Don’t have sling shot fights in the bush with your mates someones bound to get hurt

    Front brakes on BMX’s are highly overated.

    Don’t knock off your best mates old mans wine collection and leave the empties in the loungeroom.

    Always have a pillow handy when watching “those movies”

    Don’t leave your brown paper bag full of leaves in the microwave for your mother to find.

    Mirror tiles are great for covering up temper tantrums and holes in the wall (can’t wait till someone removes those)

    Don’t ride a cr80 at 60ks after you’ve had a stack and oil is weeing out the crack in the engine casing.

    10mm sidcrome spanners do not make good replacement gear levers.

    Dad’s tools are actually my tools he just dosn’t know it.

    Don’t get completey s*** faced around a campfire.

    Theres plenty more but…

    February 25, 2010 at 6:28 pm #171941

    Fez
    Member

    Trailboss wrote:

    Quote:
    Uncle Fester wrote:

    Quote:
    A fart is but a little thing that sends a message to the brain to tell the little man up there that SHIT is on the next train :ohmy: . You goto dred the follow thru. :P

    What the FUCK :ohmy: , are telling us or yourself Fes

    TB

    It is just something my old man used to say, I tell the older patients at work all the time when they complain about having to fart all the time. You will be suprised how many go to the shitter soon after. You will be even more suprised how many leave it till its TO LATE.

    February 25, 2010 at 7:55 pm #171968

    Paul
    Member

    You know what Thought thought?
    Thought he farted be he actually shit himself :ohmy:

    I have learnt that the hard way too.

    May 24, 2012 at 6:56 pm #171976

    Mick D
    Member

    I was looking back at some old threads and found this one, there is some funny shit on it, so I thought it needed a bump, feel free to add some more of your life experiences. Go back to page one of the thread to get the gist of it.

    May 24, 2012 at 7:43 pm #171900

    Dwayne O
    Member

    Yep, This is a cracker of a thread for a laugh :laugh:

    Thanx Mick for the reminder

    May 24, 2012 at 9:40 pm #171952

    Jeffrey Smith
    Member
    singletrackmind wrote:
    2. Sisters do tell each other what you did with them
    3. So do cousins!

    16. Crashing your parents car while they are overseas does not make it any better.

    STM

    :unsure: :ohmy: 2 & 3 are a worry and I have experienced 16. :D :D

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