Great thread – been pissin’ myself ! :laugh:
1. If you’re going to smart mouth your old man don’t turn your back on him.
2. It is not a good idea to play war with your mates by shooting 1 cent skyrockets at each other.
3. A father can lift a skinny teenager off the ground and hold him against the wall by his neck very easily, with one hand – for a long time.
4. If you are going to wag school go to some place where you don’t run into your dad.
5. Jumping off the second story roof into the pool should be thoroughly thought through before an attempt is made.
6. Do not think with the little head
7. Do not let an unlicensed girlfriend drive your car anywhere near the Yarra River
8. Cars do not float – at least not for long
9.Your cousin being very upset due to a near miss whilst she is driving is no reason for a 15 year old to drive everyone home from the city ( Yes constable – it will never happen again)
10. Do not shoot slug pellets at shovel s – ricochets hurts
11. If the bloke in front of you gets out of his car after you flip him the finger do not wind your window down all the way.
12. Do not drink red wine with same speed and ferocity as you drink beer – Linda Blair lives.
13. Your mother’s memory is never wrong – ever – even when she is wrong she’s right.
14. Embarrassment is sometimes the only weapon a parent has left.
15. Don’t wash the kitten in the toilet bowl by using the flush (it didn’t drown by the way)
16. When playing with a puppy never pull away when his needle sharp teeth are in your ear.
17. Avoid barb wire fences when sliding down a steep hill on a piece of tin roofing.
18. If you manage to start an excavator left in your back yard by a contractor make sure you know what all the levers do.
19. Do not hold onto a spark plug lead on a running engine
20. Cars can start in gear on the auto choke
