Fitness for Dummies.

[JohnMember]

I had a quiet word to the powers that be and it was decided in your case to modify the criteria. It will now be

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i need to be able to do…

* a flexed arm hang for a minimum of 20 seconds. Hold a JB can at right angles for 15 seconds.

* minimum of 15 push ups. Just be able to get down on all fours

* minimum of 20 sit ups (or 45 if someone holds your feet) Refer to Artha Dunga’s sit up routine.

* a standard shuttle run, with a minimum score of 6.5. A 50m waddle.

also i need to pass a body mass index test of below 33.
i am currently 33.08, believe it or not….. :laugh: :laugh: Just as long as your belly doesnt flap against your knees when you waddle

ive been off the piss and mostly off the smokes for a couple of weeks now and have lost 3kg already.You only lost the 3kgs because you put the two JB cans down when you got on the scales this time

tomorrow, the rocky music starts :laugh: :laugh:

[JohnMember]

aido wrote:

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menace wrote:

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aido wrote:

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NO NO NO.I woke in the middle of the night screaming.Dennis i dont think you have put enough thought into this,When you go away who is going to be our VTB ?

i vote for you mate…….

Im a follower not a leader. TB you will have to relocate someone down here to lead us

Your it Aido

Victorian
Tellytu
Bby :woohoo: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[Adrian LeeMember]

JAK wrote:

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aido wrote:

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menace wrote:

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aido wrote:

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NO NO NO.I woke in the middle of the night screaming.Dennis i dont think you have put enough thought into this,When you go away who is going to be our VTB ?

i vote for you mate…….

Im a follower not a leader. TB you will have to relocate someone down here to lead us

Your it Aido

Victorian
Tellytu
Bby :woohoo: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Hey little John whats with all the tubby jokes lately? You ever heard the one about people in glass houses ? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[glennMember]

Hey spidy, I passed the hat around and me and the lads bought you a going away pressy.

[BradMember]

Sorry menace but i couldnt bite my tongue.
Is there meant to be a – in between the 5 and the 7 kg bit or was that a typo.

I can tell you getting a case of gastro helps to lose weight, i lost 5 valuable kilos last week.
:silly: :silly:

[GregMember]

gob70 wrote:

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I can tell you getting a case of gastro helps to lose weight, i lost 5 valuable kilos last week.
:silly: :silly:

Could be fatal for Menace as we all know he is full of shit

TB

[BradMember]

Gold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dennis da menaceMember]

even i’ll pay that :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

geez Gob, you must be a shadow of your former self :laugh: :laugh:

and boony, im flattered, but it must be dark blue or black, thems the rules

cardio is my demon, when i stop spewing up during a session, i’ll know im getting fitter. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

and thanks for the tips they are there, hidden in this thread especially Scotty with the netball court idea, good thinkin mate, i’d never noticed before.
ive always been looking at the length of skirts when ive been at a netball match :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[katrina ratcliffMember]

Hi Menance,

All the best on your quest. The guys have given you some great advice but can I add something to think about.

I train people in the gym as a hobbie and the biggest problem people have are:

1. unrealistic expectations how much weight you can drop
2. incorrect type of exercise program.
3. incorrect meals

From my experence if you eat the right food, do the right exercise you should be able to drop 1kg a week.

Your exercises should consist of 2 cardo, 2 weight sessions and 1 session on core stability a week.

Your need to be eating 5-6 times a day. This will increase your metabolism (allows the body to work harder to process food). Don’t eat carb’s after lunch – ie no rice, potatoes, pasta etc. Dinner is lean meat/fish with salad or vegs. and morning snacks – apple and after snack – nuts.

Lastly drink lots of water to flush the system out. If you can enjoy a warm glass of water with bit of lemon in it first thing in the morning to flush the kidneys etc.

Good luck and if you have any questions PM me. The success to this is your mental focus….

Katgirl

[dennis da menaceMember]

thanks Kat, fitness for fun, that is a new concept that im doing my best to deal with :laugh: :laugh:

youre right eating is the key. we went and stocked up on fruit and veg yesterday.
i never used to eat in the morning, a cup of tea would do. ive been doing the lemon juice thing, it gets my belly working in the morning and is good at exercising my face muscles too :laugh: :laugh:

i like plain saladas too. one of those and a bottle of water fills me up for a while

id be happy to drop a kilo a week, thats the goal.

considering i used to eat fast food (i do love my saturated fats :laugh: ), drink 3 bottles of scotch and about 6 litres of coke a week, it should almost fall off me :laugh: :laugh:

[katrina ratcliffMember]

menace wrote:

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we went and stocked up on fruit and veg yesterday.

Remember its eating the “right” type of fruit and veg’s that counts. If you like potatoes… buy sweat potatoes as it’s lower in GI. Try and eat lots of green vegs and where possible put chilli in your meals. This increases your thermogenesis (heat production in the body) and makes you feel satisfied more quickly

When it comes to fruit… stay away for fruit that contain lots of natural sugar… ie grapes, banana’s and oranges. Only have these before you do exercise as you will burn this first. Stick to apples. If you eat an apple just prior to a meal you will reduce your portion intake.

Going from crap food and drink to healthy foods will shock the body and you will get excellent results but once the shock is over you will find it harder to reduce the weight… this is where you exercise focus comes in.

[dennis da menaceMember]

hopefully by that time kat, i will be in the RAAF and training will be part of life

im not a big fan of chilli and if i put it in dinner my wife would kill me :laugh: :laugh: probably while im asleep :laugh: :laugh:

i have no problem with thermogenesis :laugh: :laugh: if i think too hard i break into a sweat :laugh: :laugh:

they have a training schedule on their site
http://www.defencejobs.gov.au/fitness/fitnessPlan/

if i follow it ill be right

fingers crossed :laugh: :laugh:

[Anonymous]

Menace, I spoke to Matty (my Australian Tri-athlete best bud) who owns the most popular fitness business on the Central Coast and he said pretty much what KatGirl said so seems like good advice.

He also said to do some ‘thrusters’ and do excercise first that use big muscle groups (legs, back and chest) as after the training session they take more energy to refuel which keeps your metabolic rate high and helps burn excess fat.

To do a ‘thruster’ take a 20Kg (or similar) bench press bar (no weights, just the bar normally weighs 20Kg) and hold it on the floor in the crouched position with your back straight and knees bent. Proceed to lift the bar and push it all the way above your head until your arms are fully extended. Repaeat this 10 times in as fast and controlled manner as possible to complete a ‘set’. After the set go to any cardio machine and burn 50-70 calories (bike, treadmill, rowing machine or cross trainer) and then do another set of thrusters.

In all do 3 sets of thrusters and 3 cardio bits in between and it will kill you. Even the thrusters are hard as they work so many muscles and will get you out of breath just doing them.

I’ve lost 6kg in the last 5 weeks doing this (and some other weights too) and that’s with noticeably increasing muscle mass too. I was the same as you with all the fast food and alcohol, cutting that down has worked wonders for me.

Good luck buddy

PS – You can see some thrusters on Youtube if you’re confused.

[dennis da menaceMember]

thanks moto,

im a bit worried about your utube thruster though :laugh: :laugh:

today is day 1.

brekky- small bowl of corn flakes with lite milk, and an apple and banana.

did the sit up, push up and arm hang routine. could only manage 10 seconds on the hang

lunch- lean steak and salad sanga.

did a 4km walk with the dog in the lovely berwick botanical gardens, well the dog did 2k and was rooted, the poor old bugger was literally dragging his feet by the end. :laugh: :laugh: so he sat under a tree and watched me do another lap.

i was feeling good and could have kept going, but being day one, i thought id better not push it

dinner will be grilled steak and steamed veg…yum!

[dennis da menaceMember]

well its been just over 2 weeks. ive been really good, except for easter…had a few drinkies and a couple of pies…

naughty menace :laugh: :laugh:

i put it down to choppers peer group pressure :laugh: :laugh:

i did ride 200km for the weekend, that should make up for some of it :laugh:

but since then ive been hard at it. making massive batches of chicken and vege soup, drinking gallons of water and scoffing fruit.

and so now im down to this..

woo-hoo :woohoo:

yesterday i found a new scam…

the local gyms around here are giving a free week to go there and try their facilities out
there is 4 different ones within 10 minutes of me, so there is my next months worth of shifty workouts covered. :laugh: :laugh:

its all good :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

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