Jokes

[Jenny MeyersMember]

Paki goes to the doctor & says “I feel terrible”
Doctor says “go home, get a bucket, p*ss and sh*t in
it for a week, throw in rotting fish & dead rats,
put a towel over your head & sniff the fumes for
3 days”
A week later the paki goes back to the doctor & says
“Doc i feel wonderful, what was the problem?”
Doctor ” You were HOMESICK

[DeanMember]

Tiny’s Biarch, you are wrong wrong wrong:laugh:

Karma for you :laugh:

ps did you happen to notice this post from Tiny a couple of days ago?:laugh:

“When you see your wife running around the garden,covered in blood,screaming and disorientated… Don’t panic!calm down,relax……..aim and shoot again!”

ollie

[Jenny MeyersMember]

Yeah i did Ollie, its ok though he is a pr*ck of a shot

[DeanMember]

Tinys biarch wrote:

Quote:

Yeah i did Ollie, its ok though he is a pr*ck of a shot

:laugh: I wouldnt want to test that theory if you had leg of lamb in your hands

ollie

[DeanMember]

A man and his mate are trail riding one day at their local track. One of the guys is about to pull a wheely when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the track. He stops in mid gear change, takes off his helmet and goggles, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well, we were married 35 years.”

ollie:woohoo:

[DeanMember]

Q What’s brown and sticky?

A A stick.

[DeanMember]

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!”

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – don’t worry, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

ollie

[Paul SouthwellMember]

Whats got two legs and bleeds alot
half a dog :ohmy:

[GPMember]

Ollie wrote:

Quote:

A man and his mate are trail riding one day at their local track. One of the guys is about to pull a wheely when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the track. He stops in mid gear change, takes off his helmet and goggles, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well, we were married 35 years.”

ollie:woohoo:

Sh!!!!t …. :silly:

[Mick DMember]

Yes Yuri,That is how we treat our women in OZ. Isn’t it the same in Russia? LOL

[Jenny MeyersMember]

An elderly couple had leased there water front cabin to a newly wed couple on their honeymoon.

Twice a day the old man went in his boat to deliver fresh supplies to the honeymooners.

After doing this for a week he noticed the young man always out on the water fishing.

He mentioned this to his wife one night and decided he would talk to the young man.

The next morning after dropping of the fresh supplies the old man approached the newly wed man and said

“Mate why are you not inside with the wife, you know giving her a bit?”

to which he replied ” well mate the thing is she has gonorrhea”

“Oh that’s not good why don’t you try the back entrance?” says old man

“I cant mate she has diarrhea”

“Fark mate what about a bit of oral sex?”

“I cant mate see she has pyorrhea”

The old man was stunned and says

“Why the fark did you marry her then?”

To which he replied

“Well you see mate she has got worms and i love fishing”

[DeanMember]

LMFAO!! that is wrong wrong wrong!!!

you are a funny Biarch :laugh: :laugh:

ollie

[Jenny MeyersMember]

Little Johny comes home from school and asks his dad for help with his homework.
Sure says his dad what do you need?
I need to find out the difference between potentially and reality says Johny
Ok son well go and ask your mother if she would have sex with the garbo for a million dollars
I cant ask her that says Johny
Just bloody ask her yells his dad
So off Johny goes and comes back a minute later with a look of disgust on his face
She said she would dad says Johny
Right son now go and ask your brother and sister the same question
A couple of minutes later Johny comes back totally flabbergasted.
They both said they would dad, but how does this help me with my homework asks Johny
Well says the dad, potentially we have 3 million dollars in the family, but in reality we have 2 sluts and a poof.

[ChrisMember]

Not a joke but funny anyway

[Anonymous]

Tiny wrote:

Quote:

White husband in delivery room,midwife hands him a black baby.”is this yours?”probably” he replied “she f%$king burns everything!”

I’m pissed myslef laughing at this one Tiny. I even had to send it to my mail account so I can forward it on!!! :laugh:

[Author]

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