Jokes

[SteveMember]

10 catholic priests die on a mini bus,they arrive at the gates of heaven.
god says “if any of you priests are petos you can piss of to hell”
9 of then turn and walk away.
God yells at them “Come back and get this deaf bastard to”

[Nick JacksonMember]

A man is walking behind his wife and says, “Baby your arse is so fat it looks like a washing machine.” The woman keeps quiet and keeps walking. Bed time, the man is asking for sex.The woman says, “I can’t start the washing machine for such a small load. You’ll have to handwash!”

[SteveMember]

You can say a lot of bad things about paedophiles.
But at least they don’t speed through school zones.

not funny.

[SteveMember]

Rach wrote:

razzle wrote:

Look at what you started Rach! 😆 😆

Well 12 days later looks like he is well and truly warmed up! :laugh:

OMG i laughed at some of those toes I feel like i need a shower now :unsure:

Just cheering eags up
toes

[Nick JacksonMember]

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.
He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

‘Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?’ she asked.
They’re mating,’ her father replied.

‘What do you call the spider on top?’ she asked..

A Daddy Longlegs,’ her father answered.

‘So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?’ the little girl asked.

He replied, ‘No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.’

‘The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment,
then lifted her foot and stomped them flat.

‘Well”, she said, “that may be OK in New Zealand,
but we’re not having any of that shit in Australia.”

[SteveMember]

One bloke says to another”whats a dilemma?
Other bloke replied “well here is an example.
Imagine that your laying in a big bed with a beautiful naked young lady on one side
and a gay man on the other side.

Who are you going to turn your back on.

[scott bockingMember]

An older couple were on the verge of making love for the first time when all of a sudden the older lady looks into the older man’s eyes and says, “I must tell you I have an acute angina!” The man replies, “I hope so because you sure do have ugly tits!”

STM

[SteveMember]

SCAM WARNING
@ coles supermarket,
While packing shopping in your car,you may be approached by 2 fit 19 year old
east European girls,in tight tiny cloths .
They wash your windscreen with tits hanging out & then ask for a lift to the next shops.
On the way they strip off and go down on each other.
Then one jumps in the front and gives you a heady while the other one steels your wallet.

I had mine stolen last Thursday & Friday,twice on Saturday,again on Monday,and today as well
Be carefull

[simon burkeMember]

:cheer: :cheer: :cheer: :laugh: :laugh:
More more more! !!!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[Richard WMember]

The local oil compound in a small town was on fire. It was so bad they had to call in firefighters from all around to come and help figure out a way to extinguish it. They gathered a safe distance away and had a discussion, all while the fire blazed at full intensity. The main problem was the heat, no one could get close enough to safely hose it down.

Just then the small town’s firetruck emerged just over the hill, barreling at full speed towards the congregation of firetrucks. Rather than slowing down it sped past them leaving the out of town firefighters in its dusty wake. The firetruck got close enough to the fire that the only safe thing to do was get out and douse it immediately, so the firefighters on board did just that. They beat the flames down and saved the oil compound when others could not.

For their valiant efforts the mayor of the small town awarded them with a cash prize of $50,000 to help in any way it could. When asked what they would do with the money the fire chief said “I’m gonna get those fucking brakes fixed.”

[Nick JacksonMember]


Aussie Helpline………
 
 
 “G’day mate, Aussie Helpline…
What’s the problem cobber?”
 
 “I’m in Darwin with my sheila and she’s been stung on the minge by a wasp,
 and now her pussy has completely closed up.”
 
 “Bummer mate!”
 
 ” Beauty – I hadn’t thought of that, thanks ….. Bye.”
 


[Mick DMember]

Nickj wrote:


Aussie Helpline………
 
 
 “G’day mate, Aussie Helpline…
What’s the problem cobber?”
 
 “I’m in Darwin with my sheila and she’s been stung on the minge by a wasp,
 and now her pussy has completely closed up.”
 
 “Bummer mate!”
 
 ” Beauty – I hadn’t thought of that, thanks ….. Bye.”
 


Classic!!!

[Adrian SnowdenMember]

A lion in dubbo zoo was lazing in the sun and licking its arse when a visitor said to the keeper, that’s a docile old lion.
No way replied the keeper he’s a savage beast, why just an hour ago he dragged an adventure rider of his motorbike and ate him.

Hardly seems possible replied the astonished visitor , but why is he licking his arse?

The poor thing is trying to get the taste out of his mouth replied the keeper.

[Dwayne OMember]

snowy09 wrote:

A lion in dubbo zoo was lazing in the sun and licking its arse when a visitor said to the keeper, that’s a docile old lion.
No way replied the keeper he’s a savage beast, why just an hour ago he dragged an adventure rider of his motorbike and ate him.

Hardly seems possible replied the astonished visitor , but why is he licking his arse?

The poor thing is trying to get the taste out of his mouth replied the keeper.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Snowy,, You really are bored aren`t you ??
Even the ADVers will get more action than you at Seaview I suppose

Cheers mate

[Adrian SnowdenMember]

EAGLE`02 wrote:

snowy09 wrote:

A lion in dubbo zoo was lazing in the sun and licking its arse when a visitor said to the keeper, that’s a docile old lion.
No way replied the keeper he’s a savage beast, why just an hour ago he dragged an adventure rider of his motorbike and ate him.

Hardly seems possible replied the astonished visitor , but why is he licking his arse?

The poor thing is trying to get the taste out of his mouth replied the keeper.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Snowy,, You really are bored aren`t you ??
Even the ADVers will get more action than you at Seaview I suppose

M

Cheers mate

Eags. Crutches are enough of an adventure ride as I can handle at the moment. Beers will have to wait till nundle.

[Author]

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