Jokes

[GregMember]

Moto wrote:

Quote:

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. The barman ways ‘why the long face’?

PLEASE you are how old! :laugh: :laugh:

I laughed because next it will be knock knock jokes

[Anonymous]

That’s the beauty of it, it’s so old and lame it makes you laugh because it actually isn’t funny. How weird is that :laugh:

[Anonymous]

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce, who?
Lettuce in and you will find out! :woohoo:

How could I resist?:silly:

[Mick DMember]

Well there is a couple of minutes in my life wasted that I wont get back.

[GregMember]

LOL you idiot I love it :laugh:

[Eric SmithMember]

Ok, you’ve asked for it. Time to bring out the ol’logic jokes!

Why did the koala fall out of the tree?

It was dead.

Why did the kangaroo fall down?

It got hit by a falling koala.

What is brown and green, has 6 legs and if it fell out of a tree on top of you it would kill you?

A pool table.

What is yellow and can’t swim?

A bulldozer. (Perhaps equally relevant here would be a DRZ!)

[Mick DMember]

If we are pulling out oldies
Whats the difference between a nun and a tyre?

The nun wont go down onya

[Anonymous]

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Waddle.
Waddle who?
Waddle you give me if I go away?

[ChrisMember]

Q.Whats the difference between a tyre and a negro

A.Tyres don’t sing when you put chains on them

[Anonymous]

A motorist from the big city filled up at a small petrol station and found he had a flat tyre. He went to the garage store and asked an attendant: “Have you an air line here?”

The attendant replied: “No, but there is usually a bus every hour.”

Ba boom

[ChrisMember]

Q.What do you call a man in a bush

A.Russel

[Anonymous]

There was an Indian, a Pakistani and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a
carriage in a train going through Tasmania, Australia. Suddenly the train went
through a tunnel and as it was an old style train there were no lights in the
carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the
sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia
Schiffer and the Pakistani were sitting as if nothing had happened and the
Indian had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there. The Indian
was thinking: “The Pakistani must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed
him and slapped me instead.”

Claudia Schiffer was thinking: “The Indian must have tried to kiss me and
actually kissed the Pakistani and got slapped for it.”

The Pakistani was thinking: “This is great! The next time the train goes
through a tunnel I’ll make another kissing noise and slap that Indian dumb-ass
again.”

[Anonymous]

Two men were driving down a city street, as they approach a red stop light,
the man driving speeds up and drives through a red light.

Shocked, the passenger yells, “What are you doing!”

The driver just responds in a casual tone, “That’s the way my brother drives.”

As they continue down the street, they again came upon another red stop
light and again the drive speeds through the intersection.

Again the passenger yells, “What are you doing!”

The driver says, “That’s the way my brother drives”.

Not too long after that, they came upon a green light.

The driver quickly slams on his breaks and comes to a complete stop just
before the intersection.

The angry passenger screams, “It’s a green light!”

The driver says, “Yes, but my brother might be coming the other way!”

[Anonymous]

Two economists meet on the street.

One inquires, “How’s your wife?”

The other responds, “Relative to what?”

[Anonymous]

Last one from me today:

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be boss. the brain said, ” i should be boss because i control the whole body’s responses and functions.” The feet said, ” we should be boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.” the hands said, ” we should be the boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.” and so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the arsehole spoke up.

All the parts laughed at the idea of the arsehole being the boss. So the arsehole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the arsehole should be the boss, so the motion was passed. all the other parts did all the work while the boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral of the story: You don’t need brains to be a boss – any arsehole will do.

[Author]

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