I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but by turning to religion I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we’re stoning the slag in the morning!
The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers……. so I did….she’s 21 and her name’s Angela.
My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60’s group The Monkees. I thought she was joking……..And then I saw her face.
Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night.. Locals were shouting paedophile and other names at me just because my girlfriend is 21 and I’m 50. It completely spoilt our 10th anniversary.
My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of matches…..his little face lit up when he tried to walk.