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menace wrote:
Quote:i love all the comments….i call it tall spidy syndrome:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:i will reveal all soon…..
you pricks:P
they don’t allow those sort of photos on this site you should know that moderator
the most epic paddys swamp ride report ever…as viewed by menace.
i arrived at choppas late. not a good start. we loaded up and headed off across town to meet adrian and smurf at the BP before geelong, which we drove straight past…D’oh:laugh: :laugh: and went to the next one for some gogo juice and food. i whipped out some caster oil out for this trip. man it was thick, smelly stuff. it looked like the stuff they show on one of those anti smoking ads:laugh: :laugh:
smurf had been and gone and we saw adriana there and checked out his shiny new wr450. an ordinary egg and bacon sanga and a redbull and we left to go to JAKs.upon arrival, JAK was doing some of his handy work of making cocky shit sculptures with an arc welder around the mudguard of his brother brads (gob70) trailer as the guard had broken and needed welding. some shit stirring ensued and we were all introduced to JAKs lovely wife, Natalie. we declined on a coffee as we were all hangin to get into it causeit was a beautiful brisk morning.
we had a 30 min transport in the cars to the forest. as soon as we hit the dirt roads gobs trailer guard broke off again, like the arms of an ancient statue:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: …JAK keeps telling us he is a fitter by trade, i think it might have been a correspondance course type apprenticeship:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
arriving at the carpark, we all kitted up, i was trying to decide whether or not to wear my jacket or just a jersey. after five minutes, and not even being on the bike yet, i was already hot so i gave my jacket the arse. only grabbing the keys and my smokes out of it. we wernt riding very far from the cars so choppa and i had already decided to ditch our backpacks. i put the keys and smokes in smurfs pack…..this decision would come back to bite me/us hard later:angry:
we were off…. i havent ridden much s/t in my life and the area was a maze of intertwining, tight, sand/loamy gripping fun:)
my near new S12s were lapping it up.
we started losing riders almost straight away so we improvised the cornerman system so the leader cornered too and countered the other riders as they past. it worked well and gave everyone a chance to lead and sweep. smurf proved to be the dishbitch by laying the DRZ down firstly, and secondly and thirdly, but was unscathed by it all. he had sweated out last nights bottle of beam in an hour:laugh: :laugh:it was great fun and seemed pretty flowing before lunch. i was lucky to touch 4th gear in the s/t. banding 2nd and 3rd was somewhat spooky with the trees so closeby. we came across some good bogs and they claimed everybody at some stage or another, givin us all some good laughs watching the mud fly. on one of the faster tracks i had a massive moment crossing a diagonal tree root at speed, which sent the backend right out wide and scared the shit out of me:woohoo: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: it was my only major moment for the weekend, which was a good thing. after a few hours lunch was called for and we headed back on the marginal road to the cars. as soon as we hit the gravel, choppa and i decided it was spontaneous drag time and we both nailed it. it was neck and neck with 6 inches between our bars all the way to about 130ish and choppa was just nosing me when i backed off. his 570 had the legs. it was wicked. the rock spray must have been insane coming off us:woohoo: :woohoo:
JAK and smurf started cooking lunch while the 4 of us ducked down the other side of the road exploring a few more tracks. we came to a hill that didnt look like fun so we retreated for lunch.
we had snags and burgers and onions that were expertly burned by our chef:P with some salad and a beer or softy drink. it was yummo. it was here that i found out smurf had to leave to perform family duties. i grabbed my smokes out of his camelback for an afterlunch durrie;) we said goodbyes to smurf and geared up for some more seat time on the bikes.JAK took us over the road and to the hill we had just decided was too gnarly:laugh: :laugh: it was rutted hardcore and had 2-3foot holes in it where the rains had eroded the sand, oh and dozens of tree roots:laugh: :laugh: . i ended up in a hole while trying to get around a stuck choppa, it was almost up to my grips, luckily it was dry. i gave choppa a hand as his little legs were doing no good on the hill.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: a funny sight indeed.
i was able to rolls ot back and keep going mid hill…S12s rock!!! i think gob had to give JAK a push, one of many for the day, what are brothers for hey:laugh: :laugh:
adriana was still getting used to his clutch and after a few stalls he snaked his way up. JAK took us to his challenge hill. it looked near vertical with a muddy creek at the bottom, robbing any of us, well those that BALLS… (i think it was only adrian that didnt bring his and therfore didnt try it) , to getting a run up. i was feeling rather excitable so i hit it and nailed it first go. the grip on the loam was phenomenal!! it was fun climbing with the front wheel skipping all the way. it was sooo much fun, i came back down and took a harder line back up.
it was a heap easier than it looked. choppa had a go and owned it too, with his . JAK got about 3 metres over the creek before gravity started telling him to get new tyres:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: , gob was down there pushing the big black pig back up to us. JAk made it look like bloody hard work.
we hit some more hills and by this stage super gob was waiting at the bottom of each one to push JAK up them:laugh: :laugh: thats brotherly love;)if you read this natalie, please let JAK get some new tyres before the snow ride, just for brads sake:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
we came down another hill, which shall now be known as “HOLLYWOOD HILL”, where choppa (aka hollywood) had his first dirt nap on his new berg, but didnt manage to dirty his superbright new riding gear or supershiny bike:P :laugh: :laugh:
we meandered around some more tracks and up a goat track or 2, having to turn back once as the track was almost non existant.
we ended up in a gully with some good mudpits and had to track around another near vertical hill, only to have to ride up another one which proved difficult. the photos of gob earlier in the thread of gob are from this hill. he had pushed adriana and jack up it only to make a meal out of climbing it on his trusty XR400.:laugh: :laugh:some more tracks were thrashed through at low speed until we came across the boghole that seems to now be known as “menaces european mud toilet”:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
it was deep, well the rutt i picked was:laugh: :laugh: , i was goin alright roosting through it on the pipe until my plastic armadillo bash plate locked itself in and i stopped. i was having good fun roosting the shit out of myself and getting nowhere:laugh: :laugh: until the stinking mud started running down my neck, back and butt crack:huh:i could hear everybody thinking “how can we get infront of him to roost him”:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
i was glad that my bike is pretty light as i lifted it up and out with a little assistance from gobbo. i had almost drowned it from roosting water into the patented ktm open racing airbox:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: it didnt wanna start but coughed its way back into life and i got the hell out of there.
i must look at sealing the box up somehow.
it was getting on and we were all feeling a little fatigued so we meandered our way back to the cars. adriana, the big girls blouse, decided hed had enough and stayed at the cars.the ride back there had freshened us up and we decided to go for another blast “on some more open stuff”, hey JAK!!!, which turned out to be bloody hard and snotty. we did all get a laugh at choppa still going up the gnarlyest hill for the day as the three of us sat there saying “ahh f**k it”, choppa was not really amused upon return to us:laugh: :laugh: we cruised the road back to the cars to call it a day.when we got there and adrian was still there drinking a beer all loaded up. hollywood looked at me and said “wheres the car keys”…that was when my near perfect day rapidly turned to shit, my heart sunk and i gulped the answer out…”ummm, theyre in smurfs backpack”. man i felt bad:( i had grabbed my smokes out of there at lunch and not even clicked that smurf was leaving. i had even asked him if he needed a hand loading up at lunch. everyone got stuck into me hard:laugh: . we had no reception on the phone to call smurf who we all feared would be on his umpteenth beer by now and wouldnt be able to drive anywhere. all choppas and my clothes, money, phones etc were in the car. there was some talk of using the master brick to gain entry but choppa shot that one down quick smart:laugh: :laugh:
i skolled one of adrians beers so i could think (clear sign of an alcoholic) and we decided to put JAks chopps and my bikes on my trailer and take JAKs car and try to get onto smurf.
we had to put JAKs bike on backwards but it fitted well and towed well too.i should note that as i was PUSHING JAKs DRZ to the trailer, i mentioned it was light considering the giant fuel tank, and all of a sudden i am a suzuki lover somehow and the camera was out and shit… i let go of the bike as to not be incriminated;) .
it was a setup or something, entrappment i call it:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:had another beer and said goodbye to adrian and gob and took of to get onto smurf, leaving chopps car and JAKs trailer in the bush.
luckily we got onto smurf soon and went and met him on the road to get the keys back.
we went back and got the car and went back to jacks for the night. Natalie is a fantastic hostess and she cooked up the biggest leg if lamb id ever seen. it was awesome. and some apple pie for dessert.
we watched the videos of the days riding and laughed and talked shit. choppa was talking braille soon and i had to interpret so JAK could understand him.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:i slept like a log, like id ridden 140kms but wed only ridden….
about 40:laugh: :laugh:
the morning came with a superb massive brekky and we soon took off to meet another 4 blokes for another ride.
we took the scenic route to the same place and kitted up.
i was not allowed to touch the keys:dry: .the pace was faster today as these blokes rode there heaps. i thought i rode well saturday, but sunday i was totally zoned…
its was like…..unexplainable!!!!we rode some of the same tracks and some new ones too. it was quite a mix of terrain. awesome. some real good flowing stuff.
the leader, shane, was only a small bloke but peddled his kato well and i reckoned he had a lot more in reserve too;)
we had to leave at lunchtime and i didnt wanna go home.
that was rare in itself:laugh: :laugh:they dropped us back at the cars and we parted ways. we went back to JAks to grab out stuff and took off home.
it was an awesome weekend. a huge thanks to JAK and NAtalie for putting up with us. :kiss: and Seth, who kept us entertained:laugh: :laugh:
thanks also to choppa for providing transport
to adrian for the present and the shitslinging:P
to gob for coming along and pushing JAKs sorry arse allday, great to meet ya mate.
and smurf for meeting us with the KEYS;)
and shane and the fellas from sundays ride, it was great.now my brain hurts…..but ive been smiling for the last two hours while typing and remembering:)
happy days,
menace
This is the bog that menace buried the kato in.
Notice everyone running to help.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Though to myself if i cant get in front to roost him i might as well take photos.
so, where is everybody elses ride reports….Adriana????
that post you did was worse than a boony ride report:P
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