Now all propspective visitors or immigrants into our great land need to be verse in this, fellow old Bulls does anyone else remember the primary rule for Australians according to the classic Monty Python Skit?
from the skit “The Bruces”
Second Bruce: G’day, Bruce!
First Bruce: Oh, Hello Bruce!
Third Bruce: How are you Bruce?
First Bruce: A bit crook, Bruce.
Second Bruce: Where’s Bruce?
First Bruce: He’s not ‘ere, Bruce.
Third Bruce: Blimey, it’s hot in here, Bruce.
First Bruce: Hot enough to boil a monkey’s bum!
Second Bruce: That’s a strange expression, Bruce.
First Bruce: Well Bruce, I heard the Prime Minister use it. “It’s hot enough to boil a monkey’s bum in here, your Majesty,” he said, and she smiled quietly to herself.
Third Bruce: She’s a good Sheila, Bruce, and not at all stuck up.
Second Bruce: Here! Here’s the boss-fellow now!
(Enter fourth bruce with English person, Michael)
Third Bruce: ‘Ow are you, Bruce?
First Bruce: G’day, Bruce!
Fourth Bruce: Bruce.
Second Bruce: Hello, Bruce.
Fourth Bruce: Bruce.
Third Bruce: How are you, Bruce?
Fourth Bruce: G’day, Bruce.
Fourth Bruce: Gentlemen, I’d like to introduce a man from Pommyland who is joinin’ us this year in the Philosophy Department at the University of Wooloomooloo.
EveryBruce: G’day!
Michael Baldwin: Hello.
Fourth Bruce: Michael Baldwin, Bruce. Michael Baldwin, Bruce. Michael Baldwin, Bruce.
First Bruce: Is your name not Bruce?
Michael: No, it’s Michael.
Second Bruce: That’s going to cause a little confusion.
Third Bruce: Mind if we call you “Bruce” to keep it clear?
Fourth Bruce: Gentlemen, I think we better start the faculty meeting. Before we start, though, I’d like to ask the padre for a prayer.
First Bruce: Oh Lord, we beseech Thee, Amen!!
EveryBruce: Amen!
Fourth Bruce: Crack tubes! (Sound of cans opening) Now I call upon Bruce to officially welcome Mr. Baldwin to the philosophy faculty.
Second Bruce: I’d like to welcome the pommy bastard to God’s own Earth, and remind him that we don’t like stuck-up sticky-beaks here.
EveryBruce: Hear, hear! Well spoken, Bruce!
Fourth Bruce: Bruce here teaches classical philosophy, Bruce there teaches Hegelian philosophy, and Bruce here teaches logical positivism. And is also in charge of the sheep dip.
Third Bruce: What’s New-Bruce going to teach?
Fourth Bruce: New-Bruce will be teaching political science, Machiavelli, Bentham, Locke, Hobbes, Sutcliffe, Bradman, Lindwall, Miller, Hassett, and Benaud.
Second Bruce: Those are all cricketers!
Fourth Bruce: Aww, spit!
Third Bruce: Howls of derisive laughter, Bruce!
EveryBruce: Australia, Australia, Australia, Australia, we love you, amen!
Fourth Bruce: Another two! (Sound of cans opening) Any questions?
Second Bruce: New-Bruce, are you a Poofter?
Fourth Bruce: Are you a Poofter?
New-Bruce: No!
Fourth Bruce: No. Right, I just want to remind you of the faculty rules: Rule One!
Everybruce: No Poofters!
Fourth Bruce: Rule Two, no member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abos in any way at all — if there’s anybody watching. Rule Three?
Everybruce: No Poofters!!
Fourth Bruce: Rule Four, now this term, I don’t want to catch anybody not drinking. Rule Five …
Everybruce: No Poofters!
Fourth Bruce: Rule Six, there is NO … Rule Six. Rule Seven…
Everybruce: No Poofters!!
Fourth Bruce: Right, that concludes the readin’ of the rules, Bruce.
First Bruce: This here’s the wattle, the emblem of our land. You can stick it in a bottle, you can hold it in your hand.
EveryBruce: Amen!
Now look at Motos’ choice of avatars…….Mmmmm
?
