over many years i have tried and tested this product.
IT FUCKEN WORKS…i tell ya’s
after much ‘with one eye closed’ analysis i have found the following conclusions…
….this product will give you balls big enough to take on the biggest bouncer you can find in kings st. ( or the cross for you bloody northern bulls).
it also makes you talk like jeff fenech…ie- i luv yas all…
it can stop fornication/masterbation in its tracks if used over moderately
it will make you wanna start your bike in the shed and do a burnout. (might be just me)
to use this stimulant/depressant effectively, the following steps should be followed as closely as possible(this may become difficult as you reach the level of, dare i say it, intoxication)…
1) place JWR into a chilled glass, (dont fuckin spill him, he’s gold) about 60/40 should be suffice. put some ice in too. (it makes a good noise in the glass). fill remainder of glass with coke (aka- black aspirin), or any other mixer if youre GAY. (moto- you can add your cocktail umbrella here)
2)exercise left arm repeatedly, (or right, if you prefer, gay boy righty weirdo commies) and pour liquid down throat (it can be administered via any orifice, you can even shelf it moto :blush: )(i prefer it down my throat till it comes out my nose)
3)repeat instruction number 2.WARNING- there is a small ‘heaven’ between dose and overdose. if this point is exceeded, get a mate to induce vomiting by farting on you or get him to teabag your forehead. (wikipaedia citation needed)
4)if vomiting occurs, enter the lotus/garden gnome position. upon ceasing, order pizza – and dont fall asleep while waiting for said pizza, and eat it furiously. make sure to spill some on the new carpet (oops)
5)if anything from instruction no.4 occurs, let pizza go down for a maximum of 5 minutes then repeat from instruction no.1
another WARNING- if this product is not used as directed, a thumping headache will occur within hours of ceasation. this WILL be because of impure ice and nothing else.
for the benefit and general goodness i will keep testing this product until my liver fails or i die.
im putting my life on the line for the good of th OB’s.
my doctor hates you,
i however, feel the love, yeah baby
now who’s up for a drink or some lovin
hope this opened your eyes to the dangers of bad ice!!
watchout for my next reviews,
“get off your head, while on your head, handstand bongs”
and
“amphetamines – they make you ride faster but your dick disappears!”
my lifes work is (getting) wasted.
your guinea pig,
menace.
