I posted this on a FB site and thought it may be appropriate here also.
PRODUCT REVIEW- I originally wrote this is for the newbies, butt (pun intended, you’ll get it in a minute) after a recent adventure with riding veterans that didn’t know of this product, it may be relevant to many. Why do adventure riders nod to say hello and not shake hands (unless gloved)? No idea? Well let me explain. Now I am not into sticking things into my bum, but if you are, that’s your business and I will not judge you for that. However, it is with great delight and a big grin that I stick something in my bum before each ride. It makes me feel confident, safe, smart and proud. It feels delightfully smooth and silky. It can bring calm to an area that may be wildly red and angry. WTF? I hear you say. We have all been there, that ride where crippling monkey butt feels like the devil and his fabulously furious fiery hell have moved into your arse crack. Monkey butt can turn a great ride into a painful and unbearable day that just cannot finish quick enough. It can destroy the most competent of riders and bring a tear to the eye of the bravest man. Over the years I have tried powders, creams, potions and lotions. Powders just clump-up in bum crack hair, and make the problem worse I think. Haemorrhoid cream just leaves a greasy stain on your best lacy knickers and seat. There is only one thing that can provide relief if you are already suffering and also prevents it from occurring if you are proactive, and stick it in your bum before you leave each day. Now it is not often that I give grown men advice on what to stick in their bums but on this occasion I am going to tackle the taboo topic of other men’s bum cracks. What I high recommend sticking in your bum is clottrimazole cream. If you are already suffering, a good lathering of this stuff will have a smile back on you face within ten minutes. If you apply it liberally before a ride you will be comfortable all day and still be ready to spend the night at the Blue Oyster Bar. Enjoy your Friday night gentlemen.
