[simon burkeMember]

wow…TB….thats fully !!!!!

you tryin to out bling me? :huh:

you win,

1st prise…a Kebab with extra tabooli

Bol :woohoo:

[simon burkeMember]

To me.. a single is when both sides of your barkbusters get a work out :huh:

Like the pines at nundle,cells and some of that crazy lantana vine and Golden Orb spider infested stuff that Mick an Ollie took us through over at the coast.Some of the best i have seen was on the second day of the “Dungrog ride” in the Chichester state forest…when old mate parted the ferns on the side of the road to show us his “secret” singles..they were about 6 inches wide and went for miles.

Nundle single…. :cheer:

Bol :woohoo:

[simon burkeMember]

Kate Moss :huh: ??

[simon burkeMember]

Nice one rocket

TB has that song on his ipod :cheer:

Bol :woohoo:

[simon burkeMember]

COUNSELLING!

Eileen and her husband John went for counselling after 25 years of marriage.

When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking Eileen to stand, embraced her, unbuttoned her blouse and bra, put his hands on her breasts and massaged them thoroughly, while kissing her passionately as her husband John watched with a raised eyebrow!

Eileen shut up, buttoned up her blouse, and quietly sat down while basking in the glow of being highly aroused.

The therapist turned to John and said, ‘This is what your wife needs at least three times a week.. Can you arrange this?’

John thought for a moment and replied, ‘Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I play golf.

[simon burkeMember]

WORLD WAR 1 AS A PUB FIGHT :cheer: :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria’s pint.

Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg.
Germany expresses its support for Austria’s point of view.
Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.
Serbia points out that it can’t afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria’s trousers.
Russia and Serbia look at Austria.
Austria asks Serbia who it’s looking at.
Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.
Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so.
Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene.
Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?
Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action.
Britain and France ask Germany whether it’s looking at Belgium.
Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.
Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.
France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other.
Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it’s on Britain’s side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.
Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it.
France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.
Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.
America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.
By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany’s fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

Very clever :laugh:
Bol :woohoo:

[simon burkeMember]

Booked :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

[simon burkeMember]

well ranted Hatto :cheer:

Bol :woohoo:

[simon burkeMember]

Stm
unpowered camp sites…we don’t have to book do we?…just rock up?
bol :woohoo:

[simon burkeMember]

and another….should make you very sick

bol :woohoo:

[simon burkeMember]

happy birthday Aron.Baked you 2 cakes !!!

Bol :woohoo:

[simon burkeMember]

I might have to borrow Boulders swag

[simon burkeMember]

Nice one Hatto….looks like dirt :laugh: :laugh:
keep up the good work mate

Bol :woohoo:

[simon burkeMember]

Krusty wrote:

Quote:

BOLLOCKS wrote:

Quote:

Anyone booked a cabin with two spare beds not beeing used ? :huh:

Otherwise Pep and i will put up a Pakistani Markie.Add to the circus atmosphere

Bol :woohoo:

Hey Bollocks I don’t have anywhere to stay either and I’m looking at getting a non-powered camp site.. they are $22 a night and all available.. :laugh: :woohoo:

I figure I’ll throw a blowup mattress in the back of the car and sleep on it.. :ohmy: I may also borrow my Bro-inlaws Canvas Tent which I think sleeps 6 or so..

shall we team up?? :silly:

sounds the goods Krusty.You can be the clown in our circus :laugh:
we will get tent city going….thats where all the cool people will be :cheer:

[simon burkeMember]

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR 2030

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Little India , formerly known as Australia ..

Tasmania executes last remaining Greenie.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Australia ‘s third language.

Children from 2 parent hetrosexual families bullied in schools for being ‘different’. Tolerance urged.

Gay Marriages now overtake hetrosexual marriages as preferred ‘lifestyle’ choice.

Kookaburra and platypus plague threatens North Western Australia crops and livestock.

Melbourne schoolgirl expelled for not wearing Burqa: Being a Christian is no excuse says school. Sharia law must be enforced.

Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale meat as whales are now extinct and the scientific research fleet are unemployed. Australian Government have told the Japanese that Cane Toads taste like whale meat.

Australia now has 10 Universities of Political Correctness. Professor Goldman of ANU says there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop people saying what they think.

Australian Deficit 10 $Trillion dollars and rising. Government declares return to surplus in 100 years which is 300 years ahead of time. Prime Minister Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through more immigration secret to success.

Wall Street banks merge to form new super Bank, Goldman Rothschild Ebeneezer Epstein Drescher (GREED): We’ll show Congress who is Too big to fail says CEO. Huge bonuses paid to executives to celebrate launch.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic Countries. … No other country volunteers to come forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

Jose Manuel Rodrigez Bush says he will run for second term as US President in 2032.

Australia Post raises price of stamps to $18 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

After a 10-year, $75.8 billion study: Scientists prove Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of an Australian drops to 115 kgs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Vicindia and New South India .

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Senate still blocking drilling in Canberra even though gas is selling for 5,000 Rupees per litre and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Victims to be held partly responsible for crime.

Average height of professional basketball players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2035 as lethal weapons.

Australian Tax Office sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Carlton won this years National Footy final beating the Hindu Hornets 20-11 to 13-18

Southern Asia (formerly Northern Territory ) voters still having trouble with voting machines.

I Love This Country!

[Author]

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