[TobyMember]

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says, “Hang on! You’re a duck.”

“I see your eyes are working,” replies the duck.

“And you can talk!” exclaims the barman.

“I see your ears are working, too,” says the duck. “Now if you don’t mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?”

“Certainly, sorry about that,” says the barman as he pulls the duck’s pint. “It’s just we don’t get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?”

“I’m working on the building site across the road,” explains the duck. “I’m a plasterer.”

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.

So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him, “You’re with the circus, aren’t you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus; he talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!”

“Sounds marvellous,” says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. “Get him to give me a call.”

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, “Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money.”

“I’m always looking for the next job,” says the duck. “Where is it?”

“At the circus,” says the barman.

“The circus?” repeats the duck.

“That’s right,” replies the barman.

“The circus?” the duck asks again. “That place with the big tent?”

“Yeah,” the barman replies.

“With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?” says the duck.

“Of course,” the barman replies.

“And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?” persists the duck.

“That’s right!” says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says…

.
.
.
.

“What the f**k would they want with a plasterer??!”

[TobyMember]

4 weeks of uni left. Cant wait to No-Toil myself and go for a ride.

[TobyMember]

Diddel wrote:

Quote:

“I JUST WANT MY MUMMY”

[TobyMember]

A retired couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Tamworth .

Bert always wanted a pair of R.M. WILLIAMS boots, so, seeing some on sale,
He bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife,
‘Notice anything different About me?’

Margaret looked him over. ‘No Darl’

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for new R.M. Williams boots.

Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, ‘Notice anything different NOW?’

Margaret looked up and exclaimed, ‘Bert, what’s different? It’s hanging down today,
It was hanging down yesterday, it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow, ’cause its always that
way

Furious, Bert yelled, ‘AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET? DO YOU?’

‘No Darl’, she replied.

‘IT’S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT ME NEW R.M. WILLIAMS BOOTS!!!!’

Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, ‘Shoulda bought a hat, Bert.’

[TobyMember]

Ollie wrote:

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kram140 wrote:

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Good luck with Uni I’m sure you’ll need a break here and there. I’m on to the Maria crossing and I’ll keep you postedB)

And Me;) :laugh: Kram, if you go into the fire trail just south of Jewel Dr (off Berangi) I think that may get you to Maria river Rd I tried to get thru last time I was up but I went onto reserve and had to head back

Ollie

Thats the one i was talking about. The trail forked and went to a closed gate one way (no signs but looked very much like private property) the other way went to a point were there was some wire across the trail with a keep out sign.

[TobyMember]

Hey Fossil it was definately a ride that just keeps givin, is it still bags of fun for youB)[/quote]

Back on the striaght and narrow now that I am back at UNI. Let me know if you get anywhere with the Beranghi Rd to Maria River Rd access, it would make a great run. On my maps Ushers Fire Trail is the other access we tried to get through on, it shows a locked gate on the Maria River Rd side though.

[TobyMember]

[video type=youtube][/video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUEHwmiK42E

[TobyMember]

[video type=youtube][/video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nftERlaq4Z8

[TobyMember]

Great to see everyone had a good time. It is a bit sad that my uni commitments will take over for the next 10 weeks or so but will be sure to organise another run sometime after the 6th of November. Maybe an overnighter if some of the Mexicans want to come up and camp.

[TobyMember]

NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she
selected:
A Litre of milk,
A carton of eggs,
A Litre of orange juice,
A head of lettuce,
A can of coffee,
And one pack of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check
out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of
the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk
calmly stated, “You must be single.”
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was
intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She
looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual
about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know
what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?”
The drunk replied, “‘Cause you’re ugly.”

[TobyMember]

micknmeld wrote:

Quote:

I have a couple of kilos of sausages and some bread for an after ride BBQ, so Fossil, you supply some sauce and a BBQ and we are set.
Tripper is set to come too. We did a oil change on the CAT XR and all is good.

No worries. I can do sauce and BBQ. Hey i have even got free beer (watch the numbers go up now HA,ha). That is great news to hear Tripper is coming. Kenexcited.

[TobyMember]

Ollie wrote:

Quote:

kram140 wrote:

Quote:

Yeh me to KramB) My olds live off Cresent Head Rd, I know Maria river pretty good,but am trying to link up the best way from Plomer rd to Berangi rd with minimal Tar, a bit difficult when I live in Hornsby:blink:

Ollie

Have a good ride in Fossils backyard Boys and ShellB)

Ollie there is a couple of ways, but through some private property and it does depend on how much rain we’ve had. Plomer Rd is in fine form at the moment.

beauty,The people who own the property bike friendly?:unsure: If permission is gained obviously. The closest way to get into Maria is down thru Wortley drive or the Eastern trail, have you done this before Kram? Husky 310 Nice!!

Ollie[/quote]

I spoke with a farmer (was a nice guy) when i was trying to find a way through. From memory it was near Roberts road or something like that. He said the way through was used by mountain bikers and they had to carry their bikes over the bridge. He said you would be brave to walk across, and no way it would hold a bike. And on top of that the property owners did not like bikes and were even unhappy about mountain bikers using it. I have given up on the idea.. I think unless we find a land owner that likes bike with a bridge it will be impossible. Which is a real shame because other than that you can do a great run from Kundabung to Crescent down the beach then back across to Maria River Rd.

[TobyMember]

micknmeld wrote:

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Hey Fossil,is your avatar the jetty on Queens Lake at the end of Bob’s Creek rd?

Well spotted. I am impressed. It is Boags and my XR,s.

[TobyMember]

kram140 wrote:

Quote:

Fossil wrote:

Quote:

So Mick, it only looks like the three of us. Or is there more that you know of. I messaged Rider X but have not heard back. Have asked a few others but they are all commited to other things. What about that Kram Fella? Do you know him?

G’day guys, I’m only new here on the Old Bulls site and am looking forward to meeting and riding with a few of you guys. I’ll be there. Bike’s serviced and ready to rollB)

Look forward to meeting you Kram. I hear you are a local, I am keen to pick your knowledge of the tracks around our place.

[TobyMember]

Austblue wrote:

Quote:

Anyone care to explain how the pepper works?

The pepper is added to the coolant and when it tries to flow out of the leak it blocks it up. Works on the same principle as commercial radiator fix its. Never used it it , have heard of it though. Only works for small hairline fractures.

Soap is is the other thing you die hards should carry, apparently it can be used to stop fuel leaks in the tank as it freezes when in contact with fuel. Do not add the soap to your fuel, simply rub it into the crack.

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