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im lookin on ebay for some ‘horns’ for my helmet for the weekend…
maybe i’ll hire a full bull costume.
dya reckon they’ll let me ride the track with it on? ha ha
ive been to a party once dressed in a full panda suit. i only knew 2 people there and ‘apparently’ i was the life of the party…. nothin funnier than a drunk panda on a pushbike tryin toa freestyle.
i dont really remember, but everytime i mention it, the wife rolls her eyes….
imagine walking out in full ‘bull-stume’ while everyone is pissed around the campfire.
that’d be gold…
menace
yamaha01 wrote:
Quote:Ha Ha, a worthy first post don’t you think?A moment of creative Genius.
a top first post.
i beg to differ about your titties though
“now get in my belly”
menace
malibu or kahlua maybe….
yes i know they are girls drinks but it is for breakfast.
….or just eat toast, dipped in rum or jack:laugh:
LMFAO….
thats a pissa yamo,
you should go on ‘australias got talent’
ya cheekster
menace
….im gonna make it my avatar:woohoo:
Two men are talking in the bar sharing their sob stories. One man says, “I had the worst Freudian Slip the other day.” The other man responds, “What is a Freudian Slip?” “You know, it’s when you mean to say one thing, but you say something else that reveals what you are really thinking about. Like the other day I was at the airport and this really beautiful lady was helping me. Instead of asking her for ‘two tickets to Pittsburgh’, I asked her for ‘to Pickets to Tittsburgh.” The second replies, “Oh, now I know what you are talking about. It’s like the other day when I was having breakfast with my wife. I wanted her to pass me the Orange Juice, and instead I said, “YOU RUINED MY LIFE BITCH!”
A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her Grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl became frantic. Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, ‘What are you lining up for dear?’ Not willing to let grandma in on her secret, the young girl said that some people were giving out free oranges and that she was lining up for some. ‘Mmmm, sounds lovely,’ said Grandma, ‘I think I’ll have some myself,’ she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma at the end of the line, he was bewildered. ‘But, you’re so old, how do you do it?’ Grandma replied,’ Oh, it’s quite easy sonny, I just remove my dentures and suck ’em dry.’
It was the last day of school, and all the students were bringing presents for their teacher. A florist’s daughter came up and gave her teacher a box. The teacher said, I’ll bet these are flowers!’ The girl replied, ‘How did you know?’ ‘Just a lucky guess,’ she said. Next, a boy whose family owned a candy store came up and gave the teacher a box. She said that she knew it was candy. When the boy asked how she knew, she again said, ‘Just a lucky guess.” Finally, a boy whose father owned a liquor store came up and gave the teacher a box, but one of the box’s corners was damp from a leak. The teacher asked the boy if it was wine. The boy said, ‘No.’ She touched the leak and put it to her tongue and asked if it was champagne. The boy again said no. Finally, she gave up and asked him what was in the box. He said happily, ‘A puppy!’
things my parents teached me…….
1. My parents taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”2. My parents taught me RELIGION .
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”3. My parents taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”4. My parents taught me LOGIC.
” Because I said so, that’s why.”5. My parents taught me MORE LOGIC
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”6. My parents taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”7. My parents taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”8. My parents taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”11. My parents taught me about WEATHER .
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”12 My parents taught me about HYPOCRISY .
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”13. My parents taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!”14. My parents taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
“Stop acting like your father!”15. My parents taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”16. My parents taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”17. My parents taught me about RECEIVING .
“You are going to get it when you get home!”18. My parents taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”19. My parents taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you’re cold”20. My parents taught me HUMOR .
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”21. My parents taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”22. My parents taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”23. My parents taught me about my ROOTS .
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a tent”24. My parents taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”25. My parents taught me about JUSTICE .
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.”i hope this explains why i am what i am:S :S
menace
some things kids come out with……
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead. “How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked her pupil. “Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,” answered the child innocently. “You did WHAT?!” the teacher exclaimed in surprise. “You know,”explained the boy, “I leaned over and went ‘Pssst!’ and it didn’t move.”
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, “Mommy, you are getting fat!” I replied, “Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.” “I know,” she replied, but what’s growing in your butt?”
A little girl asked her mother, “Can I go outside and play with the boys?” Her mother replied, “No, you can’t play with the boys, they’re too rough.” The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, “If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?”
A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, “Sweetheart, you’re gonna get hair on your Twinkie.” She says, “Yes, I know, and I’m gonna get boobs too.”
ahhh haha..love em
menace
Ian wrote:
Quote:you must ride a ktm beacuse last i heard only real men ride yamahasee mate, its started already……:woohoo:
yamahaha’s are way better than honda’s i reckon though. ya gotta agree with me there…
menace
when i was in bali last year i saw a bloke on an old kx500. no lights or nothin. it was rego’ed. the guy ridin it was in just a pair of boardys and a fake german nazi helmet. it had a surfboard strapped to the side too…
wish i could find the photo i took. it is a pisser
Moto wrote:
Quote:ECKS-Man wrote:Quote:How about your thumb though???:laugh:Nah, I’ve got a faggy thumb, it’s obviously prone to breaking at the slightest impact. I’ve disowned it from the rest of my body :laugh:
not just the thumb moto:P
1) you ride a Kato 300
2)your as ugly as the rest of us…
3)you love mud…
three out of three….full marks mate
menace
yeah, welcome brother.
if you have a thick skin and a quick wit you will love it here…
its the best forum in the world.. very few rules, no tossers and fresh crap everyday!!!:woohoo:
menace
oh, maybe im being too nice, you do ride a mamaha:P
aarochild wrote:
Quote:got up at 3am to go get the cows –ha ha fat chance!
IM STRANDED and my boat has no bung plugs:laugh:im sure you’ll have a couple of BUTT plugs somewhere you could use, if not, ask moto, i believe he has dozens….
my oldies live at sandy beach, near coffs, they reckon they’ve had a sh*tload of rain. they’re back yard is like a lake… and they live on a hill!!
but in all seriousness, hope you lot up there are OK.
wauchope even made it on the news down here today…
menace
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