[dennis da menaceMember]

Trailboss wrote:

Quote:

You continue to poke me why Menace? Smart man would wait till I sent your prizes tomorrow wouldnt he? :blink: Salina spells her name with an A mate, and she doesnt whine about anything.

TB

come on mate feel the love.:kiss:

its just that you look like a big cuddly man who loves a laugh and is true to his word.
and goin by the last ride report, your a true genius, legendary organiser, pretty darn good rider, mechanical guru and walking gps.
i wish i had half those qualities. all ive got is my smart arse and crazed wit.

and my humblest apologies to your lovely wife Salina. ive read enough to know that she is a top lady who loves you and ya family dearly and cares greatly for any poor bloke you invite over for a ride.

have i said enough.
im not trying to suck up (well maybe kind of;) ), i guess im just jealous that im down here and all you blokes are up there having a ball every other weekend. all i can do is drink scotch, roll ciggies lick my wounds and read about all the crazy adventures of the old bulls.

thats my sad desperate life. like Mr Gump said, “stupid is as stupid does”.

consider me gagged tiger.

im looking for a new target if you have any suggestions mate..

lots of love

your mexican chum,

menace XOXO :unsure: :unsure:

[dennis da menaceMember]

and last but not least….

Q)What do you call a group of trail riders with a collective IQ of 120?
A) old bulls!

Q)What’s the difference between a XR650 and a Hoover vacuum cleaner?
A)The Harley has room for two dirtbags on board.

Q)Why do Honda owners have tassels on their handlebars
A)To be able to tell if they’re moving or not !

Q)How is a Honda like an old dog?
A)They both like to ride in the back of utes!!

Q)What is the difference between a Honda and an old dog?
A)The dog can get in the back of the pickup by itself.

Q)How is a Honda like a Echidna?
A)Both have pricks on their back.

Q)How is a Honda like an old dog?
A)If you leave them standing long enough, they’ll both mark their territory.

chuckle chuckle snigga snort…

menace :kiss:

[dennis da menaceMember]

just wanna do something special, for all the ladies in the world, and the girls……..(flight of the conchords rock)

• A little old lady had always wanted to join a local old bulls. One day she goes up and knocks on the door. A big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms, named Trailboss, answers.
• She proclaims, “I want to join your club.”
• The guy was amused, but says she needs to meet certain old bull requirements in order to join.
• TB asks: “Do you have a motorcycle?”
• The little old lady replies: “Yep… my bike’s parked over there”, and points to a Honda in the driveway.
• TB, getting sexually aroused asks: “Do you drink?”
• The little old lady replies: “Yep… drink like a fish. I’ll drink any man in your club under the table.”
• TB asks: “Do you smoke?”
• The lady replies: “Yep… smoke like a chimney. At least 4 packs of Winny Red a day.
• Very impressed now, TB asks: “Last question, have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?”
• The old lady thinks for a minute and says: Nope, … but I’ve been swung around by my nipples a few times.”

shes now a proud member of the old bulls….

menace

[dennis da menaceMember]

• A hip young man called Moto, goes out and buys the best car available: a silver Subaru WRX. He believes it is the best car in the world, It costs him $150000 bucks. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on an XR650 (with old bulls stickers?!)(looking about 90 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks, “What kind of car ya’ got there, sonny?”
• Moto replies: “A Subaru WRX, It cost me $150000.
• “That’s a lot of money” says the old man, shocked. “Why does it cost so much?
• “Because this car can do up to 200 miles an hour!” states the pink shirted Moto proudly.
• The XR rider asks, “Can I take a look inside?
• “Sure,” replies Moto. So, the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his Honda, the old man says “That’s a pretty nice car, all right!”
Just then, the light changes, so Moto decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 10 seconds the speedometer reads 200 MPH. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly, whhhoossh! Something whips by him, going much faster! “What on earth could be going faster than my WRX?” Moto asks himself. Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him. Whoooooosh! It goes by again, heading the opposite direction! And, it almost looked like the old man on the Honda! “Couldn’t be,” thinks Moto. “How could a moped outrun an WRX?” Again, he sees a dot in his rear view mirror! Whooooosh Ka-Bbbla…MMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end. Moto, in his socks and thongs, jumps out, and sure enough, it is the XR!!! Of course, the Honda and the old man are hurting for certain. Moto runs up to the dying old man and says, “You’re hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?”
• The old man on the XR groans and replies “Yes. Unhook my suspenders from your side-view mirror!”

(cue the Rossco P Coltrane laugh) 😆 😆 😆

menace

[dennis da menaceMember]

theres gotta be a kiwi around here. what else do you do when on the dole but read forums , eh bro

Kiwi biker

• While riding one day, alone Biker met a Farmer riding a horse with a dog and a sheep alongside. The biker began a conversation . . . .
• Biker: “Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?”
• Farmer: “Dogs don’t talk.”
• Biker: “Hey dog, how’s it going?”
• Dog: “Doing’ alright.”
• Farmer: Look of shock.
• Biker: “Is this your owner?” pointing at the farmer.
• Dog: “Yep.”
• Biker: “How does he treat you?”
• Dog: “Really well. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, & takes me to the river once a week.”
• Farmer: Look of total disbelief.
• Biker: “Mind if I talk to your horse?”
• Farmer: “Horses don’t talk.”
• Biker: “Hey horse, how’s it going?”
• Horse: “Cool.”
• Farmer: Extreme look of shock.
• Biker: “Is this your owner? ” pointing at the Farmer.
• Horse: “Yessiree Bob.”
• Biker: “How’s he treating you?”
• Horse: “Pretty good, and thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in a shed to protect me.”
• Farmer: Total look of utter amazement.
• Biker: “Mind if I talk to your sheep?”
• Farmer: “The sheep is a liar.”

thats baaaaaaaa-d.

menace

[dennis da menaceMember]

why i love my wife…

she say things like….

• Honey, are you sure you have enough beer for tonight?
• I love you working on the bike on Saturdays, we should do it together on Sundays?
• Honey, I have decided to walk naked at home.
• You are so sexy when you are hungry and drunk!
• Sweetheart, what kind of exhaust do you want me to buy for the bike?
• Do you mind if we watch the cricket together tonight and finish a dozen of scotches?
• I am going to wash the bike nude!
• No, No, No. I am changing the motor oil this time.
• Forget about St Valentine we can go for a bike A4DE instead.
• That’s enough! I don’t wanna go for shopping anymore. We better stay home, rent some porn and ….I can invite my girlfriend to join us.
• Listen, a new girly bar just opened across the street. Why don’t we go and take a look?
• Honey, I just enrolled myself in yoga classes to learn how to put my legs behind my neck. Only for you sweetheart.

i love her…

menace
👿 👿 👿

[dennis da menaceMember]

i’ll leave Wonda’s alone for a minute and aim this one directly at TB……

A BEER BEFORE IT STARTS

TB came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his Selina, “Quick, bring me a beer before it starts.”
She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. He skolled it and said, “Quick, bring me another beer. It’s gonna start.”
This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, “Quick Honey, another beer, it’s gonna start any second.”
“That’s it!” Selina blows her top, “You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don’t even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don’t you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?”
TB sighed. “Oh shit, it’s started.

😆 :cheer: :cheer: 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆

i kill myself sometimes…..lol…

menace

[dennis da menaceMember]

A KTM rider called menace went to a bar and ordered a scotch. As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. She turned to the biker and asked, “Are you a real biker?” He replied, “Well, I’ve spent my whole life on KTM’s. My momma was pregnant with me when she rode on the back of my Daddy’s Kato, then as a little boy I rode on the back with my Daddy until I finally got my own KTM. I’ve been riding one ever since. So yes, I guess I am a real biker.”
She said, “I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women; when I shower, watch TV, eat, whatever, everything seems to make me think of women.” Then she got up and left.
Menace, stunned, was thinking about what just happened when a man sat down next to him and asked, “Are you a real biker?”
Menace replied, “I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.”

true story boys…..

menace

[dennis da menaceMember]

God & The Motorcycle

The inventor of the honda Motorcycle, Soichiro Honda, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Mr Honda, “Since you’ve been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven.”
Soichiro thought about it for a minute and then said, “I want to hang out with God.”
St. Peter took Soichiro to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.
God recognized Soichiro and commented, “Okay, so you were the one who invented motorcycles, eh?!”
Soichiro said, “Ya, that was me…”
God commented, “Well, what’s the big deal of inventing something that’s pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution, and can’t run without a road?”
Soichiro was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, “Excuse me but aren’t you the inventor of woman???”
God said, “Ah, yes.”
“Well,” said Soichiro, “professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention”:
1. There’s too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust.
5. And the maintenance costs are outrageous!!”
“Hmmmm, you may have some good points there,” replied God, “hold on.”
God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.
The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. “Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,” God said to Soichiro, “but …according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours!” :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

“shit hondas”, i say, “here here” says the crowd….

menace

[dennis da menaceMember]

time for an onslaught……

from the great ktm bible, in the jokes section……

Broke Down…..

A biker stops by the local Honda Shop to have his bike fixed, again. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil. He stopped by the feed store/livestock dealer and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.
However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home.
While he is scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, “Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?”
The biker said, “Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. I would w alk you home but I can’t carry this lot.”
The old lady suggested, “Why don’t you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?”
“Why thank you very much,” he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he says, “Let’s take my short cut and go down this alley. We’ll be there in no time.”
The little old lady looked him over cautiously and then said, “I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?”
The biker said, “Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?”
The lady replied, “Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the chickens.”

:S :S :S :S :laugh: :laugh:

menace

[dennis da menaceMember]

motocross track???:unsure: :unsure: :unsure:

are yous trying ta kill me…

please explain “louee” to me dudes

menace

[dennis da menaceMember]

im noy too fussed on the dates fella’s im pretty good for any time in july/august. yous sort it, ill wangle it with the missus and the dog and tell my boss where to stick it! i might even con him into comin too, but he rides on of those blue sh*theaps, but hes a good bloke nevertheless.
just hasnt seen the light yet.!!

my 38th is on fri 28th august, anytime within 2 months of that and its claimed as birthday drinking and i am immune to any responsibility for my actions from the scorceress of scorceresses-es-es.:woohoo: :woohoo:

so itll give me plenty of time to heal, loose 20kgs, get a 44 gallon tank for the kato, get over my fear of its rib breaking power and save for some really good tequila for us to drink

ol’e

come on give me dates….

menace

[dennis da menaceMember]

spewin bro. next time hey.

looks like ya lucky ya got out when ya could.
they shut the hume and princes highway testerday

i was gonna go riding in neerim next sat, but it got raized.

lots of people and animals died yesterday. hundreds of houses lost. its sad.

today is 21 and no wind. it should help the firies

menace

[dennis da menaceMember]

Trailboss wrote:

Quote:

Yeah just climbing into a bundy right now myself, its cool here in the ducted.

Shane’s right “pooftas drink scotch and coke”

TB

:kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss:

but JWR is like “mothers milk” and im addicted!!

the only thing bundaberg make thats any good is their sasparilla..
and the ginger beer isnt bad but the rum sucks goat arse

everyone that drinks that stuff is right at home in a tu-tu.

well secretly anyway.

come on TB, out of the closet…. come on…

[dennis da menaceMember]

drink some more shane….

im halfway thru todays bottle and i feel fine now…

fuckin hot but…..

45.8c i think its the hottest day on record in melbourne..

keep your fluid consumtion up boys…

menace

its as dry as a nuns nasty too. and 65km nth wind….

i thinks i can smells you from down here moto!!!

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