While I was driving down the Pacific Highway the other day, (going a little faster than I Should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a traffic-cop on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.
The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk, asked: “Runway too short?”
To which I replied, “I’m late for work.”
To which he asked, “What do you do?”
“I’m a rectum-stretcher,” I responded.
The traffic cop was surprised and confused. “A what? A rectum-stretcher??”
And just what does a rectum-stretcher do?” “Well,” I said, “I start by inserting one finger into a rectum, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it’s about 6 feet.”
Then the cop asked questioningly and cautiously, “And just what do you do with a six-foot asshole?”
To which I politely replied, “You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge…”
Fine: $250
Court case $1000
Look on the cops face – Priceless!
