[GregMember]

While on her morning ride on her broomstick, Prime Minister Julia Gillard falls off, has a heart attack and dies because the ‘accident and emergency’ dept at her nearest hospital is too understaffed to treat her in time.

So her soul arrives in Heaven and she is met by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. ‘Welcome to Heaven,’ says Saint Peter, ‘Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a Socialist around these parts, so we’re not sure what to do with you.’

‘No problem, just let me in; I’m a good Christian; I’m a believer,’ says the PM.

‘I’d like to just let you in, but I have orders from God. He says that since the implementation of his new HEAVEN CHOICES policy, you have to spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you must choose where you’ll live for eternity.’

‘But I’ve already made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven,’ replies Gillard.

‘I’m sorry .. But we have our rules,’ Peter interjects. And, with that, St. Peter escorts her to a lift and she goes down, down, down ….all the way to Hell.

The doors open and she finds herself in the middle of a lush golf course.

The sun is shining in a cloudless sky. The temperature is a perfect 22°C. In the distance is a beautiful club-house. Standing in front of it are Gough Whitlam and thousands of other Socialist luminaries who had helped her out over the years — Bob Hawke, Paul Keating, etc., even Kevin Rudd – The whole of the Labor Party leaders were there (and all the socialists from other parts of the world..)

Everyone is laughing, happy, and casually but expensively dressed.

They run to greet her, to hug her (except Rudd who is still recovering from the stab wounds to his back!! ) and to reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at the expense of ‘suckers and peasants.’

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. The Devil himself comes up to Gillard with a frosty drink, ‘Have a tequila and relax, Julia!’

‘Uh, I can’t drink anymore; I took a pledge,’ says Gillard, dejectedly.

‘This is Hell, ma’am. You can drink and eat all you want and not worry and it just gets better from there!’

Gillard takes the drink and finds herself liking the Devil, who she thinks is a really very friendly bloke who tells funny jokes like herself and pulls hilarious nasty pranks, kind of like the ones the Labor Party pulled at the last election with their master strokes on Education, Immigration, National Broadband Network, Petrol prices, Carbon Tax, Mining Tax, Budget Surpluses, Solar schemes, National Broadband, Health Rebate, and Tough on Crime promises.

They are having such a great time that, before she realises it, it’s time to go. Everyone gives her a big hug (except Rudd!) and waves as she steps into the lift and heads upward.

When the lift door reopen, she is in Heaven again and Saint Peter is waiting for her. ‘Now it’s time to visit Heaven,’ the old man says, opening the gate.

So for 24 hours Gillard is made to hang out with a bunch of honest, good-natured people who enjoy each other’s company, talk about things other than money and treat each other decently. Not a nasty prank or short-arse joke among them. No fancy country clubs here and, while the food tastes great, it’s not caviar or lobster. And these people are all poor. She doesn’t see anybody she knows and she isn’t even treated like someone special!

‘Whoa,’ she says uncomfortably to herself. ‘Gough Whitlam never prepared me for this!’

The day done, Saint Peter returns and says, ‘Well, you’ve spent a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. Now choose where you want to live for Eternity.’

With the ‘Deal or No Deal’ theme playing softly in the background, Gillard reflects for a minute … Then answers: ‘Well, I would never have thought I’d say this — I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all — but I really think I belong in Hell with my friends.’

So Saint Peter escorts her to the lift and down she goes, down, down, all the way to Hell.

The doors of the lift open and she is in the middle of a barren scorched earth covered with garbage and toxic industrial wasteland, looking a bit like the eroded, rabbit and fox affected Australian outback, but worse and more desolate.

She is horrified to see all of her friends, dressed in rags and chained together, picking up the roadside rubbish and putting it into black plastic bags. They are groaning and moaning in pain, faces and hands black with grime.

The Devil comes over to Gillard and puts an arm around her shoulder.’ I don’t understand,’ stammers a shocked Gillard, ‘Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a club-house and we ate lobster and caviar and drank tequila. We lazed around and had a great time.. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and everybody looks miserable!’

The Devil looks at her, smiles slyly and purrs, ‘Yesterday we were campaigning; today you voted for us!

[GregMember]

Happy Birthday Champ

TB

[GregMember]

Happy Birthday Champ, hope you have a jolly day and dont get green with envy :laugh:

TB

[GregMember]

Bump make me an offer

[GregMember]

micknmeld wrote:

Sorry if my report was too eloquently written for you TB, I was hoping for a literary masterpiece. It was wasted on you though. :whistle:

You took it the wrong way mate It wasnt that it was too eloquently written (and I know what it means ) it was the extra drama added that I enjoyed in a positive way :whistle:

The four NXs was something you won’t see every day now days. They looked great all grouped together. What was the end collective noun for a group / flock etc of NXs Mick as the discussion went on after I walked off :laugh:

TB

[GregMember]

Kamikaze, veritable zoo, potential to throw all manner of wild life, myriad of creatures taking refuge in the toilet bowls :laugh: :laugh: Were we on the same ride :blink: :laugh:

Nah kidding I have to say Mick the wildlife out the front was as thick as I have ever seen it and we will be watching out again when we head through the same area in a month. I suggest you check your speedo on the NX but as it seems like it is a long way out :whistle: :laugh: Lefty telling the story of your dinner plate eyes when he pulled up waiting for you was funny on Saturday when we hid from the heat and drank Toe’s beer. And Steve talking about how he was going to burn the KDX until Wolfman pulled up :laugh: :laugh: Toe’s swag filling up with water
What about Moc the barman and bush poet Can you imagine what Wolfman was going through on Pezz’s bike with the twin shock setup :laugh: :laugh: I wouldn’t have ridden that for any about of love or money :pinch: no way known for this little black duck!

Mick “Camaroo Station isn’t the most exotic location I have been to in my life, with a over supply of sand, dust, flies and a myriad of creatures taking refuge in the toilet bowls” Its the outback :laugh: :laugh: I did forget our bad the flies are out back but :blush: And have to say was happy the dolls house had an aircon for Sal and the kids sake when they went to bed and she had a nanny nap (happy wife happy life) :laugh: :laugh: She did good driving out there and all the running around for people on the way etc but couldnt get her back there while she has a heart beat She is still keen for Alice, Ayres Rock and the flinders next year with the camper trailer but so its not all bad.

Meals were good and there was plenty, beers priced ok considering where we were. Would have been good for the kids sake it there were camel rides (on a camel station isnt asking to much) they had a wagon but it was broken :blink: Interest now starts as to where next years will be, it will depend on where if I am going to go I have to say and when it is. I hear its being moved from Easter which I reckon is a good thing?

TB

[GregMember]

Washed the Tenere, not with the pressure washer for the first time. Kicked the tyres and looked at the chain. 1450kms old now

TB

[GregMember]

30 days 34mins and 6 secs until we leave :ohmy: put into perspective this exact time in 30 days we will be riding into Naromine.

TB

[GregMember]

Wheeliworks wrote:

I too had a great time. Tb I will contact you regarding a few of the pics. .

No worries mate, let me know and I will send you a disc with all the ones I have of you, Matt and Ryan

TB

[GregMember]

Cont.

We took the kids and Salina down to the heated artisan bore natural spring about 13 kms away

All the meals were cooked here, fires ran up and the coals collected and put under the plates by this lady (Moc’s wife sorry missed her name) Fantastic food and a great effort

Scrappers

My boys had a ball and were well behaved considering the time they spent in the car, Lochie my eldest on the right was a trooper that worked endlessly helping me and everyone else.

Lefty swept on his own on Thursday, here we are at the bikes on the presentation night Saturday

The brains trust from the ride out,

Random

Pezz and the mighty 460 four

Umm whats doing here

Steve (Adv Moto Fame) drove his car out for no other reason other than to support this cause, dragged dead people and bikes out and back. Supplied fuel, carried other people’s jerry cans, looked after the photographer donated prizes and more this guy doesn’t stop.

Toes, mighty effort helping everybody and carting their gear

Bastard was up to no good in these pictures

Lefty swept, lead and went for the ambulance when required. Helps and never complains just gets it done. Cheers Champ

Charlie, welcome to the outback cobber! Swept with Mick thanks guys (sorry didn’t have a close up of you Mick)

Sorry if you don’t like the photos being a bit more personal than a normal old bull ride report, but for me it isn’t about the bikes or the riding so much as it’s about the people that just get out and do it for the event and the charity. They aren’t necessarilyin the photos here they just get on with it, do it without the chest beating its very humbling what they they do. They help have fun and support a great cause. I would like to thank them, cheers guys.

TB

[GregMember]

Oh sorry Steve :blush:

If anyone wants high res shots etc just PM me it isnt a problem

TB

[GregMember]

singletrackmind wrote:

A lap in the life of Spud.
This is pure gold!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGuEBjAWdZs

STM

Great effort Spud, love the yelling out :laugh: Nice edited STM pity about the sun eh.

Good to catch up on this thread, looking for your next edit on the 12hr Scott.

TB

[GregMember]

Happy Birthday Mike, sorry its late I have been awol :laugh:

Hope it was a cracker mate

TB

[GregMember]

Boony wrote:

Thanks Nick, it was one hell of a feat, I dont know how I can now bag hondas, mine is 28 years old, I never even changed the oil in it ,and bugger me dead the bloody thing never missed a beat out or back.. Those new yamahas arent much chop, they get out there but need trailoring home, :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:
Thanks to lefty for your sweeping and leading, TB ,good job on the organizing, I now apparently qualify to comment on ADV riding..

watch this space.

PS ,,I got the mob lost and the only one stressed was me,, what a mob of top blokes.

Ride report to come when someone starts the thread.

Boony ( the trail rider)

Congrats on the effort Boon, well done to Damus building the bike for you and getting there and back himself Start a freakin ride report thread! BTW what happened to you, pissed of saturday arvo a day early without so much as a goodbye to anybody same as sunny corner :ohmy: missed a great auction, party and event. What so keen to adventure ride home :laugh: :laugh:
Yeah new Yamaha trailed home with my family after my wife and kids drove 1100kms in my car to carry dead bikes while I lead the ride out, thought it was the best thing to do after they made that effort rock or not :laugh:

Old Girl I am loading 124 photos now

TB

[GregMember]

Oh yeah spot link

http://share.findmespot.com/shared/faces/viewspots.jsp?glId=0qx7mPOY5k2mGW9rFLbPZIsShsIZZhgYt

[Author]

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