[GregMember]

The Pope

After getting all of Pope Benedict’s luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn’t travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

‘Excuse me, Your Holiness,’ says the driver, ‘Would you please take your seat so we can leave?’

‘Well, to tell you the truth,’ says the Pope, ‘they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I’d really like to drive today.’

‘I’m sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I’d lose my job! What if something should happen,’ protests the driver, wishing he’d never gone to work that morning.

‘Who’s going to tell,’ says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 118mph. (Remember, the Pope is German.)

‘Please slow down, Your Holiness,’ pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

‘Oh, dear God, I’m going to lose my license — and my job!’ moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

‘I need to talk to the Chief,’ he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he’s stopped a limo going 205 kph.
‘So bust him,’ says the Chief.

‘I don’t think we want to do that, he’s really important,’ said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed, ‘All the more reason!’

‘No, I mean really important,’ said the cop with a bit of persistence..

The Chief then asked, ‘Who do you have there, the mayor?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

Chief: ‘A senator?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

Chief: ‘The Prime Minister?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

‘Well,’ said the Chief, ‘who is it?’

Cop: ‘I think it’s God!’

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, ‘What makes you think it’s God?’

Cop: ‘His chauffeur is the Pope!’

[GregMember]

If you get a set Jason let me know mate as I will throw mine on my XR and go for a spin :woohoo:

TB

[GregMember]

I heated the one I did with a heat gun and straightened it, took a while but happy days

TB

[GregMember]

The ATO decides to audit Grandad, and summons him to their office.

The auditor was not surprised when Grandad showed up with his lawyer.

The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the ATO finds that believable.’

I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Grandad. ‘How about a demonstration?’

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, ‘Okay. Go ahead.’

Grandad says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.’

The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a bet.’

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.

Grandpa says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye’

Now the auditor can tell Grandad isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandad removes his dentures and bites his good eye

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandad’s lawyer as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

‘Want to go double or nothing?’ Grandad asks ‘I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.’

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandad stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandad’s own lawyer moans and puts his head in his hands.

‘Are you okay?’ the auditor asks.

‘Not really,’ says the lawyer. ‘This morning, when Grandad told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it!’

Don’t Mess with Old People!

[GregMember]

Yeah added Factoryphil and Co, also Jak, his other, Riderx and Justo

TB

[GregMember]

A wife texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: “Windows frozen”

The husband texts back: “Pour some luke warm water over it”

The wife texts back: “Computer completely fucked now”

[GregMember]

Happy birthday you wheel bending spoke snapping spark plug popping lawn digging postie would be

Take the day of and race the mailman door to door

Have a great day

TB

[GregMember]

Scotty wrote:

Trailboss wrote:

Basically to busy with work and home with tree lopping etc to get myself and the bike ready as I have just run out of time

There will be other rides soon enough

TB

Read between the lines = under the thumb.

No actually Salina just said 10mins ago it was a pity because I had been given a free entry (that was because they are using my route remember we pre-ran it on the trailzone ride)
Do you really think I ride and spend the time away I do if I was under the thumb :blink: :laugh:

No not that Scotty

TB

[GregMember]

Basically to busy with work and home with tree lopping etc to get myself and the bike ready as I have just run out of time

There will be other rides soon enough

TB

[GregMember]

I have had to withdraw from this ride this evening due to circumstances beyond my control. Got to say I am disappointed but as Ned Kelly said “Such is life” :laugh:

TB

[GregMember]

Jeffro wrote:

http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/postie-bike-/110857423676?pt=AU_Motorcycles&hash=item19cf9e0b3c

Theres one Boony.

Thanks Jeffro I am on it

TB

[GregMember]

Ok nine or so months and 20k in I am very happy with my Shoei Hornet helmet. As stated before I have tried a few different brands and owned a Zeus and an Rjays. The Rjays I wore twice and gave it away the Zeus I kept as spare because out of the cheaper helmets I reckon it’s the best.
The Shoei is lighter, quieter, doesn’t leak and is very comfortable when worn on a long day (recent rides of 13 and 14hrs) The Shoei doesn’t seem to suffer the same turbulence that the Rjays and the Zeus suffer on the Tenere.
The peak supports a Go-pro while still being light weight, the visor as pointed out to me by Nickj has its first click open at 5mm which prevents fogging and doesn’t leak water. The ear pockets comfortably fit speakers for the either blue tooth’s or UHF PTT kits. The helmet as plenty of vents and allows good air flow around you head, you can actually open the vents while riding and feel the air flow on different areas around your head.

The only thing I don’t like about mine is the replacement cost when I need to buy a new one

I recently noticed that even Mickp has gone back to wearing his Shoei so they must be good :laugh:

TB

[GregMember]

Reckon its carby related Murph see this it may help

http://obtrailriders.com/index.php?option=com_kunena&func=view&catid=8&id=1336&Itemid=75#111101

TB

[GregMember]

Yeah no worries Bones it will be interesting tonight to see what its like to get on. And yes it is like ultra heavy duty tubes eh, prevention is better than the cure

TB

[GregMember]

EAGLE`02 wrote:

Safe travels mate
Sounds like a cracker of a warm up ride for the APC proper ,,,

You will be bored though, not having the usual chit chat on the bluetooth :laugh:

Yeah your right about the chat Eags, I reckon it will give me heaps of time to think and plan other rides and events. I have bluetoothed my iPod to my Scala G4 to pass the time if I want. I aiming to just ride my own ride at my own pace and only stop when I need fuel. I am hoping to run out of the dust and be in early each night to get the good accommodation :laugh:
I will try to update at each night stop if I can

TB

[Author]

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